Said cabbage languished in the veggie drawer for about a week, so I had to take matters into my own hands.
I chopped up some cabbage, and made soup.
Since I haven't posted an actual recipe of my own in a while, here you go. And since I like to be a pain in the ass, this is exactly how I made it.
Ham, Cabbage and Potato Soup</recipe>
Chop slightly less than half of a monster cabbage. Slice the remainder of a bag of baby carrots, and 2 celery ribs. Mince 2 cloves of garlic, and chop half an onion. Dice 4 slices of a hunk of smoked ham. Dice 3 smallish Russet potatoes, dumping them into a bowl of water so they don't start turning brown.
Melt the chicken broth from your freezer, and discover you don't have enough. Search for some sort of chicken bouillon, and fail to find any. Pull out a leftover baked turkey wing from the fridge, and separate the meat from everything else. Make a quick unseasoned broth with the latter part. Dice the meat.
Saute the onion, garlic, carrot and celery in olive oil with a little salt and a lot of pepper. Drain the potatoes, dry them briefly in paper towel, and add them to the veggies after a few minutes. Dump in a bunch of paprika, remembering that it's fat-soluble, so you can't add it to the broth later. Saute until it starts sticking a little, then add in all your broth, a couple bay leaves, a bit of oregano, and the merest pinch of thyme, because your Hubby hates thyme.
Bring to a boil, and simmer until the potatoes are a little more done than you like, because you kind of forgot about it. Add the cabbage, and smoosh it down. Season with Vegeta (that's been in your pantry forever but still has flavor), because you're worried about the broth not being flavorful enough. Let it simmer until the cabbage cooks down a little.
Make Hubby try it. Smile when he says "That's good. Like holy shit, that's good."