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"I love the Dalai Lama, he's so sexy, I wish he was my boyfriend."
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"It's full of meat, happiness and love."
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MIL: "I hope it's not foggy tomorrow morning."
Hubby: "It won't be, don't worry."
MIL: "How do you know? You're not God."
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Hubby: "I heard they got the fragrance from cactus."
MIL: "Well, f**k, I'll just rub a piece of cactus on my a$s then."
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Hubby (to the dog): "Charlie, if you continue the way you are, I'm gonna get rid of you."
me: "If
you continue the way
you are, can I get rid of you?"
Hubby: "Yeah."
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Youngest: "I need to put on pants before I make food."
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Youngest: "I hate fake trees, they don't smell like Christmas."
Me: "I'll get some pine spray and spray the tree with it."
Youngest: "That doesn't smell like Christmas, that smells like a lie."
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And with that, my friends, I'll leave you with best wishes for this holiday season. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, etc. If you don't believe in God of any Sort, then I wish you a Happy December and a Happy 2009.